Monthly Archives: July 2016

Come along kids, into the fire.

The Firelocked Funhouse has been so fun to work on so far.  These kids just tried to bury a clown alive.

It’s not gonna work.

Plus, the little one carries around a bear!


Anyways, I’ve been doing excellent, I’ve been being excellent.

10’s dress won at state fair, which means, she’s got to go to the next competition, I wish I had showed her to sew less good. (I can’t decide if I even feel bad.  More competitions are vomitous terrible things I have no patience for- but 10 is amazing and deserves to win everything this world has to offer.)


Next week I will have all my children away and I’ll be working ten times harder than ever, and playing ten times harder than ever.  Ballroom dancing?  Oh yes, it’s gonna happen.  I’ve already shined my shoes.  The umbrella gun will be finished and I am going to have the most amazing costume for Suicide Squad.

This is the grand finale, the big finish of summer before life gets back into a steady and safe routine.  Back to school, back to words.  The only sliver still digging away at me is the cats still quarantined.  Only one more month.  Please rally pretty kitties.  I can’t wait to have them home.

I also have all remodeling on hold at the moment whilst I get some books out the door.  After I get back into the swing of routine I’ll add ’tiling and painting’ back to my schedule along with “hanging drywall’ and flooring!  The attic is desperately ready to be floored.  I am impatient.  I am ready for my house to start housing and stop constructing.  I”m ready for my books to start flying off the shelves, and my days to be less stressful.  Let’s skip through my forest and laugh through the nights.

Padlocked Penthouse Excerpt

Barnett rode up the glass elevator. He had his leather briefcase in his hands. Inside the case he carried the evidence Vivika would need. The elevator seemed slow but steady. It almost groaned under his weight. Fear crept into his belly. Was this the right choice?
Would it save his wife and daughter?
He took a deep breath as the glass elevator slid into his penthouse. He could see the piano and the little mirror on the wall his wife stood at endlessly. She wasn’t there. The elevator let out a bright cheery ding, and the clear doors parted. His foot touched the smooth marble floor and he found himself wondering what on earth he was doing.
How could he help a ghost walk into the light? It was an impossibility at best.
Fear made his skin tremble. “Aurora? Pear?” He stumbled on a candle on the floor. There was a thin line of salt on the ground. He followed it slowly.
He called for them, but silence was the reply. “Aurora?”
He called louder, pacing his long sturdy steps around the oval penthouse. The candles kept dotting along the salt, but none of them were lit. His vision went blurry, and he recognized he had tears forming in his eyes. What if he was too late?
Finally, he said the one name that would get him a response. “Vivika?”
All of the light bulbs flickered and he was in darkness, utter darkness. “I’ve come to talk to you,” he said, his knees trembling. “Vivika, it’s going to be all right. I brought you some things to see.” The lights shone again.
He waited and all the hairs on the back of his neck stood up straight. Everything seemed so intense. The bright, tart lemon scent suddenly burned his eyes and nose and throat. He gasped and coughed.
“Vivika, it’s going to be okay.” He held back a little choke. He was being smothered by lemon; it hung thick in the air like skunk spray. He could feel it reaching into his lungs and burning, burning into him.
“I want to show you what I have.”
He fumbled for the briefcase latches in the dark. He rubbed his eyes with his hand slowly, trying to make the burning stop. His nose and tears were running from the potent scent.
“Do you even know what happened? You’ve been dead a long time.” He tried to recite some of the facts from memory. “Mikaela and Roselle were your daughters, and you and Frans… I’m sorry, but none of you made it out alive. It must be devastat-” He felt the scream rather than heard it. It hurt his chest and he fell to the ground. A nasty wind rushed around the penthouse in a big sweeping scream and his ears! They were bleeding from the force of it, from the intensity. The wind pelted him with bits of salt. The scream hurt his chest and his belly and it was like he had screamed.
No, he was screaming.
His lungs burned from the effort. He let out another shriek of terror. He shuddered and tried to get a grip, but fear had won; every bit of him was frightened. She was so much bigger and more monstrous than he had ever imagined. She could swallow the city whole if she wanted. She was darkness, hate, and bittersweet. She was angry and had no intention of stopping any time soon. She was fire, and oh, she burned. She burned within him.
Then, with a pop, she went silent, and he was alone and scared.

Firelocked Funhouse Excerpt

A bell rang, like a casino machine ringing in loads of cash. And the ceiling opened a panel and down dropped a long pink stretch of fabric. It fell all the way to the floor like a long rope. Immediately kids began to grab at it and try to climb it. Until they heard the loud booming voice.
On the long silk scarf was a clown. She had big pigtails that were pink. Her face looked happy. She had the brightest freckles painted on her face. Her laugh was like a tinkling fairy. She held on to the scarf with only her legs and slowly spun down it. She was juggling three pink balls as she slid down the scarf. “Hello children! Do you want to play a game?”
Everyone stopped manning the ball guns, and dropped what they were doing. They slowly gathered at the base of the scarf, enchanted by this new clown. She had striped stockings on her legs and a fluffy yellow skirt.
Miles, Lorelei and Gregory stood back nervously. They didn’t trust clowns anymore, and at this point in the day it was only about to get worse.
She stopped juggling as she got to the bottom of the scarf, her feet daintly set upon the top of the balls below. It was like walking on water. One arm still wrapped around the scarf as she balanced seemingly on nothing.
“Do you want to play a game?” The children cheered. Miles stuffed Colorado back in his pocket, so he wouldn’t get lost. Then he gripped his sister’s hand. The three of them stepped backward again.
“Come closer, children, this game is going to be super fun.” She said again, but there was a look in her eye, when she glanced at Lorelei that was frightening.
“It’s a game of hide and seek. You hide. And we will find you.” She said. And then the ceiling panels opened again and the fat, scary clown rolled down in his own scarf. He was holding a knife. The long legs of the super tall clowns started to slide out of the ceiling. Their face paint had been smeared so their eyes and mouths were running down their cheeks and up their noses.
“We are going to count to ten.” The children shuddered underneath. Several screamed, and at least three of the kids were crying.
The clowns were talking together in unison now.
“Two” The girl clown covered her eyes with her feet, still dangling from the scarf.
“Three.” Gregory whispered, “Let’s try to get back into the bouncy room. And then up the slide.”
“Four.” The three kids backed up quickly, looking for the soft wall that they had climbed through.
“Five.” Lorelei was too frightened to cry, and too frightened to scream. She held tightly to Miles. He was shivering again, and had wet his pants.
“Six.” The super tall juggling clowns were on the ground now, tossing sharp knives back and forth. One of them paused, and threw a sharp knife into the wall next to Gregory’s hand. Gregory screamed.
“Seven.” The children that had gathered underneath the girl clown were now scrambling away on platforms. A small girl was sobbing and pressing the big red button, trying to dump the funnel of balls.
“Eight.” Lorelei whispered frantically to Greg, “I can’t find it. Where did we come in?”
“Nine.” Greg looked at her, and said, “We will have to fight them.” And he pulled the sharp knife from the wall.
“Ten.” All four clowns started laughing hysterically, in shrill terrifying noises. The fat one wasn’t laughing, he was roaring.

And the floor beneath them fell.

Somebody hold my hat

The roof is done.  I’m exhausted from all this ridiculous nonsense.

  1.  Roofing a house is not fun
  2. Staying in a hotel is not fun after say, week two
  3. I have spent 100+ hours on bats, roofs, rabies, and insurance this summer so far
  4. I would have preferred to spend that time remodeling, writing, or playing with the world’s best kids
  5. My Harley Quinn umbrella gun is almost finished and I’m excited.
  6. Suicide Squad is coming out very soon.  Try not to wet yourself.
  7. Firelocked Funhouse is coming out, not as soon.  But I’m trying!
  8. I’m working on a thriller book, and it is super fun.  Sometimes the books write themselves
  9. I’m pretty sure I’m not actually that good at cosplay, but I sure try.
  10. I am going to have to paint some shoes.The roofers allowed water into my house, and I have some painting to finish now.

I think that’s listy enough for today. I’m working on an excellent poll for anyone who joined my mailing list, I am absolutely certain it will be fun.