I have lots of cool stories about bats, wanna hear one?
Okay, so my son finds a bat upstairs. I hit it with a broom, he manages to catch it in a tupperware bowl. I start walking down the stairs and it’s flying, in the bowl. Battering its wings on the sides, I’m hysterically frightened of the beasts and their tiny freaky hands and itty bitty faces. And I’m planning on walking outside and carefully releasing it in the woods. And it’s flying in the bowl and really freaking me out. But as I get to the sliding glass door I hear it screaming. It’s screaming. I’m literally shuddering with fright, and I open the door and realize:
The screaming is coming from behind me!
I, having already opened the door, let out an un-ladylike scream into the night, total fright bellowing out me. And THROW the bowl like a champion disc master. And I turn around, still mid-scream and there is a second bat, flying at me. I do the brave, motherly thing, and cover my face and burst into tears and my 10 year old spitfire daughter looks at me, and sees the bat (now landed on the step in front of me, and smashes it with a boot.
Then she turns to me and says, “Is that it Mom? Anything else?”
And I, still mute with terror, shake my head.